In Their Words

Childhood

Who was your best friend in high school? What were they like?

Why this question matters

High school friendships often capture someone at their most unguarded—before they fully knew who they were supposed to become. This question reveals not just who your parent trusted during those intense years, but what they valued in others when everything felt urgent and new. The friend they describe often mirrors the person they were becoming, or wanted to be.

If they pause, try this

Ask if they're still in touch.

What people often remember when asked this

  • 01

    Some parents will describe a friend who was their complete opposite—the wild one to their cautious, or the steady anchor to their chaos. Ask what drew them together despite their differences.

  • 02

    Others recall someone who felt like a mirror, sharing the same dreams or fears. These stories often reveal what your parent cared about most during those years of becoming.

  • 03

    Watch for the ones who drift into present tense when describing someone from fifty years ago. That friendship clearly left a permanent mark worth exploring further.

A small tip for the conversation

If they can't remember a specific best friend, ask about their lunch table or who they called when something big happened. Sometimes the most important person wasn't officially labeled.

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