In Their Words

Childhood

What music did you love as a teenager?

Why this question matters

The music a person fell in love with at fifteen is the music they'll still know every word to at seventy-five. Asking about it gives you a portrait of who they were before anyone in your life had any claim on them — a young person, alone in their bedroom, choosing what to feel.

If they pause, try this

Ask about a specific song or concert that takes them right back.

What people often remember when asked this

  • 01

    Many parents will name a single album or a single concert. Ask them to put it on. Listen with them for a minute. The conversation that happens after a song is almost always richer than the one before it.

  • 02

    Sometimes the answer reveals a small rebellion — music their parents didn't approve of, or that didn't match what their friends were listening to. Ask what they were trying to say by listening to it.

  • 03

    If they say they weren't really into music, ask what they were into instead. The deeper question — what occupied them at fifteen — is the one that matters.

A small tip for the conversation

Ask if there's a song that, if it came on the radio now, would put them right back in a specific moment. That's the song to play.

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