Questions about the legacy they hope to leave

8 questions

Legacy is the kind of thing your parents probably don't think about until you ask. These questions invite them to — what they hope outlives them, what they want their grandchildren to know, the title of the book if someone wrote it. They can be heavy. They can also be the most clarifying conversations you ever have.

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Legacy

01
What do you most want to be remembered for?
Ask if they think they're living in a way that earns it.
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02
What have you built — literally or figuratively — that you hope outlasts you?
Ask what it would mean to them to know it had.
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03
If someone were to write a book about your life, what would the title be?
Ask what the most important chapter would be.
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04
Is there anything you've never told your children about yourself that you think they should know?
Ask what's stopped them — and whether this might be the time.
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05
What do you hope the world looks like for your grandchildren when they're your age?
Ask what you think your generation could have done differently to help get there.
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06
What's something you hope your great-grandchildren will know about you, even if they never meet you?
Ask if there's a story they'd want passed down word for word.
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07
Is there an object — a ring, a letter, a tool — you hope ends up in the right hands one day?
Ask whose hands those are, and if those people know.
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08
What's a piece of advice you've given that you hope someone actually took?
Ask who they gave it to, and if they ever found out.
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How to actually ask these

·Pick three or four. Trying to ask all of them in one sitting will exhaust you both. The best conversations come from one question that opens up into twenty minutes of unrelated stories.
·Don't correct or argue. If their memory of an event doesn't match yours, that's a separate conversation. Right now you're collecting their version.
·Write down what they say while it's fresh — or record it. Phones are good for this. You don't need anything fancier.
·If asking face-to-face feels like too much pressure — for either of you — consider letting our service text them one question every few days. Many people open up more easily over text than across a kitchen table.