In Their Words

School & learning

What did you love about school, and what made you dread it?

Why this question matters

School was where your parent first met the world beyond family—where they discovered whether they were smart, social, rebellious, or shy. This question reveals how they related to authority, learning, and peers during their most formative years. The contrast between love and dread often shows the tension between who they were naturally and who the system expected them to be, illuminating patterns that shaped their entire approach to challenges and growth.

If they pause, try this

Ask if the things they loved are still part of who they are.

What people often remember when asked this

  • 01

    Some parents remember the social dynamics most vividly—friendships that felt life-or-death important, or the sting of being left out. These answers often reveal early lessons about belonging and rejection that influenced how they approached relationships throughout life.

  • 02

    Others focus on specific teachers or subjects that either ignited their curiosity or made them feel stupid. Listen for the moment a teacher either saw something special in them or crushed their confidence—these stories often explain career choices or lifelong insecurities.

  • 03

    Many will describe the structure itself—loving the predictability or feeling trapped by rules and expectations. This often connects to how they later approached parenting, work, and authority in their own lives.

A small tip for the conversation

If they say they hated everything about school, ask about one teacher who was different, or what they did during lunch or recess. Sometimes the margins held the most meaning.

Related questions

← Back to questions about their school years