Love & marriage

How did you meet your spouse or partner?

Why this question matters

Almost every adult child has heard a one-line version of how their parents met. Almost none of us have heard the real one — the part with the embarrassment, the second-guessing, the friend who insisted, the night that almost didn't happen. The full story is one of the most beloved gifts you can collect, and the easiest one to lose if you don't write it down.

If they pause, try this

Ask what the very first thing was that caught their attention.

What people often remember when asked this

01
Ask what they first noticed about the other person. Not the headline trait — the small thing. The way they laughed. The shoes. The fact that they were holding a particular book.
02
Ask if either of them almost didn't show up. Most love stories have a moment where the whole thing nearly didn't happen, and that moment is usually the most interesting part.
03
If the parents are divorced or one has passed, ask anyway — the story matters even more, not less.

A small tip for the conversation

After you get the first version, ask: "What's something about how you met that you've never told the kids?" That tends to produce the real version.

How did you meet your spouse or partner?

Why this question matters

What people often remember when asked this

A small tip for the conversation

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