Questions about your parents' values
12 questions
Values are the part of a person you absorb without ever quite hearing them explained. These questions ask your parents to put them into words — what they believe, what they've changed their mind about, what they'd never compromise on. They're the kind of prompts that produce the answers people end up reading at funerals. Worth getting them on paper while you can.
Values & beliefs
- 01
What do you believe in most deeply — something you'd never compromise on?
Ask where that belief came from — was it taught, or did they arrive at it on their own?
- 02
What does success mean to you? Has that definition changed over your lifetime?
Ask what changed it.
- 03
What's the most important lesson life has taught you?
Ask when they finally understood it — was there a moment it clicked?
- 04
Who has had the biggest influence on who you became?
Ask if that person knew the impact they had.
- 05
What are you most grateful for in your life?
Ask if gratitude comes easily to them or whether it's something they have to practice.
- 06
Is there something you regret? What would you do differently?
Ask if they think regret is useful, or whether they try not to go there.
- 07
What's something you've changed your mind about completely over the course of your life?
Ask what caused the shift.
- 08
What do you think is the purpose of life? Has your answer to that changed?
Ask what experience most shaped that answer.
- 09
If you could sit down with your 20-year-old self, what would you say?
Ask if they think their younger self would have listened.
- 10
What does a life well-lived look like to you — and do you think you've lived one?
Ask what they're still hoping to do with the time they have.
- 11
What's a belief you held strongly when you were younger that you've quietly let go of?
Ask what changed their mind.
- 12
What's something you stand for that you'd never apologize for?
Ask where it came from — was it taught or earned?
How to actually ask these
- ·Pick three or four. Trying to ask all of them in one sitting will exhaust you both. The best conversations come from one question that opens up into twenty minutes of unrelated stories.
- ·Don't correct or argue. If their memory of an event doesn't match yours, that's a separate conversation. Right now you're collecting their version.
- ·Write down what they say while it's fresh — or record it. Phones are good for this. You don't need anything fancier.
- ·If asking face-to-face feels like too much pressure — for either of you — consider letting our service text them one question every few days. Many people open up more easily over text than across a kitchen table.