In Their Words

Questions about your parents' values

12 questions

Values are the part of a person you absorb without ever quite hearing them explained. These questions ask your parents to put them into words — what they believe, what they've changed their mind about, what they'd never compromise on. They're the kind of prompts that produce the answers people end up reading at funerals. Worth getting them on paper while you can.

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Values & beliefs

  1. 01

    What do you believe in most deeply — something you'd never compromise on?

    Ask where that belief came from — was it taught, or did they arrive at it on their own?

    Have us text this one →
  2. 02
  3. 03

    What's the most important lesson life has taught you?

    Ask when they finally understood it — was there a moment it clicked?

    Have us text this one →
  4. 04
  5. 05

    What are you most grateful for in your life?

    Ask if gratitude comes easily to them or whether it's something they have to practice.

    Have us text this one →
  6. 06

    Is there something you regret? What would you do differently?

    Ask if they think regret is useful, or whether they try not to go there.

    Have us text this one →
  7. 07
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  9. 09
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  11. 11
  12. 12

How to actually ask these

  • ·Pick three or four. Trying to ask all of them in one sitting will exhaust you both. The best conversations come from one question that opens up into twenty minutes of unrelated stories.
  • ·Don't correct or argue. If their memory of an event doesn't match yours, that's a separate conversation. Right now you're collecting their version.
  • ·Write down what they say while it's fresh — or record it. Phones are good for this. You don't need anything fancier.
  • ·If asking face-to-face feels like too much pressure — for either of you — consider letting our service text them one question every few days. Many people open up more easily over text than across a kitchen table.

Free printable

Get this list as a beautifully printable PDF

All 168questions, arranged by theme — print it, bring it to Sunday dinner, or keep it by the phone. We'll email it to you free.

No spam — a few question ideas and a reminder before the next holiday. Unsubscribe anytime.

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